What Bipolar Disorder Feels Like

Words for Video below for the hearing impaired.

SPEAKER 1: I think bipolar can be an amazingly beautiful experience. SPEAKER 2: Mania feels great. Things are beautiful. Things look different. I started to feel more emotion, to the point where I was almost euphoric. SPEAKER 1: Sounds are really strong, really vibrant. They really pierce the ear. SPEAKER 2: Things speed up. Most importantly, your mind, it’s very chaotic in a lot of movement. SPEAKER 1: My heart races through my arms. I can feel this fizzing sensation. SPEAKER 2: Just my energy and euphoria was moving me almost, directing me. SPEAKER 3: It’s like flipping through the channels on TV, where you see all these different ideas and images. And you’re just like, OK. Like, the world is not moving fast enough for my brain right now. And it feels so amazing because you feel like you understand the world.

And you’re on top of the world. SPEAKER 1: You think that you can achieve anything. And You think that you are better than everybody else. And you think you can do anything. So, after that high of the mania and those buzzing limbs, I crash completely. And then we sort of slide into that gray sort of numbness at the bottom of all those feelings. SPEAKER 2: The depression came on.

SPEAKER 3: It’s a hard, hard crash to come way down here. SPEAKER 1: The world starts to lose its color. SPEAKER 2: It’s a very dark place. It’s suffocating. SPEAKER 1: I will look at the clock and it will be noon. And the next time I look at the clock, it will be 4 o’clock in the afternoon. And I have not moved. SPEAKER 3: This is the worst place in the world. SPEAKER 2: Because there’s no break from it. SPEAKER 1: You start to disengage. SPEAKER 2: You isolate yourself. SPEAKER 3: Something has absolutely taken control of your mind. SPEAKER 2: It’s a dangerous thing because suicide enters your mind. SPEAKER 3: Nothing can fix the unhappiness that you have. It feels like absolute hell. SPEAKER 2: I never felt anything like that. SPEAKER 1: It’s like someone has flipped the switch. And I’m back to normal. I turn around, and I think, well, what just happened? Talk to someone, if you can. SPEAKER 3: It always goes back to being fine. SPEAKER 2: And it turns around. It’s temporary.

You have to continue to remind yourself that depression is temporary. .

As found on Youtube